Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla Review

Posted: March 15, 2017 in Movie Reviews, Movies
Tags: , , , , , , ,


*Major Spoilers Ahead*

It’s been a rare occurrence that I review a film directly after watching it but this film has certainly left an impact on me so great that the end credits are still rolling as I’m typing this intro. My notes are a slurred mess because I didn’t want to take my eyes of the screen. This is gonna be a tough review so without any further adieu, I ask you; Chocolate, Strawberry or Vanilla?!

CSV puts us in the shoes of a shy and awkward ice cream peddler called Warren Thompson. Warren (played by Glenn Maynard) is a lonely guy who lives in a run down apartment with his cat. His routine is the same everyday and we get a glimpse of this in the beginning of the film.

The life of an ice cream man must be great, surrounded by sweets and treating kids to delicious frozen goods and seeing them smile, must be a great feeling and the film definitely is showing it with this intro. So Warren gets in his van and gives a slight chuckle as the engine revs to life, puts it into reverse, a jolt and then….MEOW. This is where the film takes a super dark and depressing turn.

I’m not going to say exactly what happened but let’s just say I immediately paused the film, took and deep breath and gave my kitty the biggest hug I’ve ever given it. After he gives his friend a proper burial this is when we begin to see the start of Warren’s mental breakdown. His day just turned into one of the worst days of his life in a matter of seconds and it’s not gonna get any better, as we get introduced to another character who pushes poor Warren to his (almost) limit. Rocko (played by Aston Elliot) a drug dealer, pimp and all round scumbag takes residence across from his van.

But fret not readers, all is not lost for good aul Warren, he still likes to unwind and relax in his own unique way, watching the latest episode of “Round the Block”……with a carton of tissues and some vaseline….you get the point. This starts to show how lonely Warren is, since we see throughout the film his disgust/jealousy of couples that come to his van.

After a few instances of Warren’s “happy time” we finally see his obsession with “RtB” actress Katie George (played by Kyrie Capri). Not only does he love her as a fan would he is convinced that he is destined to end up with her and that she is his soul mate. We find all this out as he records his memoirs through a second hand camera he bought from a local post office, where his friend is starting to act stranger and stranger as the film progresses. That we shall get into later!

After taking a long piss on Warren’s van, Rocko, lovingly addresses our friend “Oi, chuck us an ice cream ya c*nt!”, this should sum up how Rocko is going to act for the remainder of the film. Things take another turn as Warren gets a visit from a very special customer the next day, none other than Katie George!

This prompts him to buy a video to vlog all the encounters that he gets with Katie, and its through this medium that we finally get to see an insight into how he truly feels about Katie and the people in his surroundings. Warren certainly seems happier now that Katie has come into his life, although this doesn’t hide his obvious mental issues.

As the film progresses Warren’s environment just gets worse and worse and I can start to feel myself really finding it hard to watch, but something inside is telling me to push on. There are new characters added to the mix that just degrade and put down poor Warren but all of this is held back inside just to power on through and show Katie that he is a strong guy and the thought of her is the only thing holding his sanity and mental health together. During one of his vlogs we get an insight into his past, and the effects bullying has had on him, one instance he beat a kid to near death. We also find out that he has a history of some sort of rape from a previous “girlfriend.” But now all he has is his TV, his van and…well….his imagination! Which he uses quite a bit to put him in the scenes with Katie and also cowboy films where he faces off against Rocko.

The penultimate moment is when Warren sums up the courage to ask Katie out, on advice from a questionable “lady” from the “Granny Twat Line”, a sex line…for…you know what, nevermind. A non-reluctant Katie agrees to dinner and this is when the audiences breaths a massive sigh of relief and happiness for Warren, this is it, after facing all the shit from Rocko and everyone else. he finally gets a date with Katie! Although, there is still an air of caution as the audience can see from Warren’s crazed look afterwards.

Warren dolls himself up and gets ready to head to the studio to meet Katie and finally live his dream, when he approaches her however, things aren’t what he expects, she has no idea who he is, and promptly pushes him away with the help of the security.


It was all in his mind, he made it all up, everything with Katie was a lie, yet all the bad things including Rocko, were all very much real!

Jesus Christ, I actually have no words to describe this feeling. Warren snaps, hurts himself, goes into a fit of rage and ultimately goes fully insane. My favorite moment is when we can actually see the change in Warrens outlook on live as he speeds away, amazing acting from the lead performer. Warren shaves his head with a blunt razor to become just like Rocko, but mangles his head and face in the process. Warren performs one last vlog, where he destroys everything he previously cherished. while in his tiny whities, while rubbing shoe polish all over his body screaming “Pretty Warren” over and over.

One of the most disturbing and unsettling scenes that I have ever witnessed in a non horror film, as I re-watch this for the second half of this review I still find myself in shock and utterly speechless.

Remember Warren’s friend in the post office, well shes gone missing, a victim of drug abuse. Provided by none other than scumbag Rocko! This prompts Warren to relive his childhood, and instead of a walking stick Warren beats the brains (literally) out of Rocko with a wrench, in front of Rocko’s family.

Warren then walks off, strips naked….and the film ends. Leaving us with a sense of awe, shock and downright confusion, but still a sense of sadness and pity for poor Warren. Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla is one of the most powerful films that I think I possess now because it deals with the affects of loneliness and what the urges of attention and relationships can do to a person, and the lack of positivity can genuinely change a person mentally.

If you have any questions or are facing any problems yourself, please talk to a family member or friend, or even call people like Samaritans on 116 123 if you are in Ireland.

Please check out this movie and let me know what you think in the comments below or on Facebook. Thank you for reading.


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